Hallway

"When we attempt to imagine death, we perceive ourselves as spectators" (Sigmund Freud)

(Perrett,R.W,2013.Death and Immortality.Springer Science & Buisiness Media.)

Freud suggests that when we imagine our own deaths it is impossible to view it from our own perspective as if we have not experienced death we can only imagine how we'd look laying there as if we were someone else. Paul Edwards notes that our emotions towards the death of others will be significantly different as to when we experience our own death, as we do not know what the person's whole experience of life is, although we associate death being a depressing time however the person that may of died may of been happy to die and it may not be such a daunting time for them.

This can be applied to my characters not all of the deaths may have an unhappy ending due to research many suicide notes claim that this is the right time for them to die as they are happy with their life and want to die happy. Therefore our experience of death may be a fearless experience we may die happy of which I am linking to my character, she is choosing to die as she is the most happiest she has ever been.

Suicide notes.

“To my friends: my work is done. Why wait?” (George Eastman,inventor of Kodak,d. March,12,1932)

Eastman a successful inventor who created the roll film, committed suicide at the age of 77. It has been noted that Eastman invited friends around his house to alter his will, after his friends left Eastman made his departure, Eastman shot himself through the heart. Eastman was suffering with spinal stenosis, although Eastman has said he was happy within himself and had made a life changing movement in photography. 

“So that’s it. That’s me. Leaving the world to be a better place.”(Unknown)

Although this suicide note is unknown it is one of the most popular notes found, it's concise and seems as though the victim is happy to go, by saying "That's me." leaves an impression that this person has fulfilled their life and is happy to leave their previous life behind.

“Dear World, I am leaving you because I am bored. I feel I have lived long enough. I am leaving you with your worries in this sweet cesspool – good luck.” 

(George Sanders, British actor, d. April 25, 1972)

Sanders a famous British actor committed suicide at the age of 65, the actor died from taking a drug  Nembutal, with which he left this fascinating suicide note it is not a depressing message and communicates that he has chosen to end his life as he is tired of life and has given all he can offer. It appears as though Sanders has had some episodes of depression in the past after dealing with a failed marriage, I love how he has ended his note wising everyone luck with this corrupt world which has a hint of humour to it, the figure was known for his witty humour, this note is represented of his on screen personality of which is intriguing as it reminds me that in my words I must get my characters personality across to make the notes more striking.

This is interesting as it supports previous research that successful, happy people, some of which have  had no traces of mental illness commit suicide to, not necessarily  to end emotional suffering but because they feel as though they want to choose how they exit this world, as it is possible that they have achieved all that they want to achieve and want to die feeling happy without suffering.
Hypoxia's character

Reflection on research. 

The research implies that although this is a traditionally dark topic to some, many people who commit suicide are not suffering. Whilst researching the question that I often asked myself was Does everyone find death depressing? The research indicates that from a young age it is almost programmed into western culture that death is a bad factor, it is something we must not speak about in great depth. Why? Possibly because as humans we are scared of the unknown 

Is everyone who commits suicide suffering? I feel as though the only people who can answer this are the ones who are planning on or who commit suicide, therefore the closest evidence to suggest that this may be the case was investigating suicide notes, there were three particular suicide notes that I felt communicated the message I am trying to communicate throughout this narrative, that not everyone who commits suicide will be suffering they will be happy to die by choice. I feel as though the viewer may find this narrative interesting as the character will be 'dying' to die so to speak it is something that will excite the character they are not unhappy with their existence yet neither are they truly satisfied with their life and their curiosity to die will make them happy.

Test shoot.

For my test shoot I experimented with the use of string as a thought to cut off the blood supply of which would  be a slow painful suicide, although this is highly unrealistic and has more of a fetish feel to it therefore I moved onto using cling film. I highly preferred the use of cling film, I like how it distorts the facial features you can see the makeup and can create interesting reflections.

Reflection.

Although I like these images they are not the style I would like my final images to look like, as these are more of beauty shots rather than narrative-rich dark conceptual images, they do not communicate a story in a raw sense that I intend to do in my final images. The lighting is far too bright, the images are too clean and basic therefore I will continue to experiment with lighting to get the desired effect.

Inspiration.

For Hypoxia I felt inspired by the images where the facial features are distorted from the plastic as realistically watching a person asphyxiate would not be beautiful, although the figures in the images seem to be trying to gasp for oxygen my character will be enjoying the experience as my character will be the happiest she has been therefore is enjoying the feeling of suffocation, the character will not look desperate to escape her situation. 

Makeup Design.

For the makeup design I want the makeup to be smudged onto the cling film to see the movement of the face, I do not want it to look pretty in any form, the character will have a full face of makeup on to support that narrative that she has arrived home from work and has decided that today is the day that she will go on an adventure to her afterlife. The dark plum lipstick works well with cool lighting and transfers well onto the material. Strong eyebrows and a fair matte complexion are also important elements within this design as the eyebrows will help to convey facial expression, and an matte complexion works well with the lighting as well contributing to creating a deathly looks that contrasts well with the dark lips creating a slight gothic look, of which is also connotating the time of year it is as dark lips are on trend in the winter, telling the viewer that the figure is trend conscious and young.

The character has their favourite berry lipstick on that they've recently brought, cat flicked eyeliner and she is ready to go! She does not insist on being found dead without her look being on trend, fantasising  about her death for a long time she imagines those who find her to know she died happy. How will the spectator know this? From the perfect makeup, she always applies her makeup in this way whenever leaving to go out to some place exciting-implicationg to the viewer this is planned, not impulsive, she wants to look good just as she's imagined her death to be

Lighting.

(https://uk.pinterest.com/pin/419890365238116509/. 4.3.15)

I want the lighting to have a consistent look to it so the same lighting and mood as the first chapter, a cool lighting with quite harsh tones, with blue tint to it. In terms of poses I want my character to looks though she is enjoying her rather slow death,she is enjoying the fact that it is becoming successful. Luckily I am shooting with Toni Ward the photographer I shot the 'Bathroom' series of images with, therefore I am not stressing about the outcome of the images as I am sure they will have an interesting outcome as when we work together it's as if were having a conversation together.

Hallway photoshoot.

Reflection on production.

From the nature of my photoshoots I have learnt that in certain photoshoots I need an assitiant just to help with some safety factors as at times, as I found it hard to breathe and because I was trying to breathe the cling film was sticking to my face even more. Therefore on my next shoot that I feel may have some slight safety issues I will ensure I have an assistant to help out. The GIF  was accidental I was not supposed to pop the cling film however we felt that it worked well, it was also not intentional to distort my face to that extent but I took a liking to how ugly I looked. I think it works well with the character as I want the shoot to provoke a slightly scared as well as shocked response from the spectator.

Overall I am pleased with these images, I am so thankful that I have a photographer that understands the outcome I want to achieve I cannot stress enough what an impact she has had on making the shoots that she has done live up to my vision.