Bathroom Series.

"Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked I shall return".—Job 1:21


 Robert I Simon's abstract 'naked suicide' explores the ideas of why a high percentage of suicides are executed in a naked state. What is interesting about the data collected is that the results suggest the psychological themes seem to refer back to the bible quote above- some victims of suicide believe that dying in a naked state is a way of cleansing themselves of which is linked to bath suicides symbolising a form of baptism and re-birth of which is a theme that I explored within my bath  chapter. I feel inspired by the thought of eroticisation of death although suicide can be viewed as an ugly topic and it is important not to 

romanticise the idea I feel in order to create a shoot with a high 


fashion edge to it in the style of 'Dark Beauty' magazine there is a need for beauty and 

erotic shots to appeal to my audience as well as my own visions. 

(Robert.I. Simon, 2008, Naked Suicide)

Reflection on research. 

I feel as though my research has helped to explore questions I asked myself through out creating my images. Such as why would someone want to be found naked when committing suicide? There are a number of reasons that I found interesting, such as the thought of being found how we were born pure, naked, innocent, vulnerable, are key words that spring to my mind, bathing naked can also be referred back to baptism being cleansed of any sins of which is interesting as in most cases there may be blood in the bath it could almost suggest in some situations that the redness of the blood in the water can represent their 'sins'. Another element to explain why there are a high number of naked suicides could be that some may find the idea of death erotic, is it erotic to fantasise about ones own death? Death is often linked to themes of religion such as spirituality it is believed that one dies their spirit leaves the body, the thought that something has entered the body and left it can be referenced in a sexual sense, some people may be in love with this idea.  This gives an implication that the characters that are naked throughout the project are exploring their natural state and wish to be re-born, or are feeling vulnerable they are in their most vulnerable state, or it is possible the character is obsessed with death and loves the idea of death therefore it can be seen as being an erotic statement- telling the viewer much about their character although it is the intention of the images for the viewer to think about the images, what has happened, what has lead to the suicide, and what is the message to them? As there are many characters a coherent pattern is that anyone can commit suicide it should not be assumed that only those who are in a depressive state will commit suicide, therefore it is important to listen and to communicate with everyone as it could prevent one from ending their life. I want the viewers to analyse the images deeply what is the meaning to the creative, what does the image mean to them? I do not want the viewers to see the image for what it is I want them to dig as deep as myself otherwise I feel as though the project will loose meaning. 

Makeup Design.

The makeup design for this shoot is important as it helps to tell the story, as the makeup will be in water I do not want it to be perfect I want to see smudges and texture. Nothing says glamour more than smokey eye and red lip and glamour is a theme that is explored within this chapter as it works in conflict with the darkness that the character is feeling and the act she is about to commit. For the photoshoot I decided to wear little skin makeup as I felt it did not add much to the images I created in my test shoot with the Go pro and the images had more character to them and looked more realistic with the skin makeup,  I already have a deathly complexion and felt that the outcome of the images look better without foundation. The hair design does not play an important role in this shoot as no matter how I styled it, it was eventually going to end up slicked back, however the texture of the hair was important it needed to look wet but e slightly messy as the character would not have perfect hair. 

(https://uk.pinterest.com/kirachidlow/fmp-ideas/. 25.02.2016)

It is important to show elements of Joiners suicide theory the victim would self harm and would try physical harm to try and overcome the emotional suffering, I understand how important details are within a lot my photoshoots and constantly kept checking my makeup and the images to make sure the photos flowed, as i had to direct myself as I am modelling my project so it was important for me to be aware at all times of every aspect of the shoot, I used story boards to help my photographer get a strong understanding of the desired outcome.


Myself and my photographer Toni both have a strong understanding of how I want the images to look and the emotional response that I'm hoping to revoke. We both share a love for conceptual and taboo concepts and both have a clear understanding of how all elements are important to create a powerful image, of which is why I chose Toni as my photographer for three of my shoots we both understand how to create narrative strong images that will appeal to the audience. We have worked together since we were 17 and have since built a relationship where our ideas flourish.

Bathroom.

Reflection on production. 

I chose to work with glossy products as this captures beautifully in cool natural lighting it also adds a glamour element to the image, the lighting shows the texture of the products well, creating a realistic image. The lighting not only shows the details on the face but also on my arm as scarring was created creating a foundation for the story. As the scarring was made to look as though it was old meaning the scars would be slightly faded and flat, it was difficult for the lighting to highlight the scars, the scars were an important element as they created a foundation for the narrative of the mental state of the character. I had to really think about how I was posing to ensure the details were in the image without the poses looking contrived.

Whilst shooting I had Joiner's interpersonal theory of suicide in mind and remembered how he mentioned that self harm is often a factor of feeling suicidal as a release of mental pain, the self harm helps to tell the narrative, it also makes it seem more realistic showing the state that some may go through before committing the death. The character is meant to look emotionally drained and numb, by looking at the camera I recognise that I may be breaking the fourth wall by communicating with the camera however I feel as though this makes it look less like a photoshoot set up as if there is not a camera in the room.

(https://uk.pinterest.com/kirachidlow/fmp-ideas/ 25.02.16)

In the final two images I love the texture of the hair it reminds me of paint being dropped into water almost making the image look like a real life painting, of which I love as I was not expecting the image underwater to turn out to be as powerful. The smudged makeup certainly communicates the suffering the blood referencing the inflicting pain, the smudged makeup again referring to the mental pain. The facial expression is relaxed to show the character is at peace and communicating the narrative.

GIF one.

I feel as though the GIF's create an intense atmosphere with the viewer as it is as if the charecter is staring at the viewer in desperation. She dips her head beneath the water erratically causing a nose bleed, this was painful to create as to make it look realistic I had to apply thick fake blood inside my nose which caused an irritation. I believe this GIF fits in well as it is communication the next step of the narrative. 

GIF two.

The character eventually commits suicide by drowning herself, I decided to create a GIF with following images to display the act as I felt it is a more effective way of showing the act in action.

Overall I am fairly happy with these images I was not sure how they were going to look as I could not  see myself modelling, however I felt as though I have communicated my ideas well as the images are interesting. There are many other images to choose from however I feel that these flow the most, for the project I feel as though there should only be a few images to communicate the narrative in order for the images to have a strong effect, I will decide this element once I get to my website design. I will select a few possible images that flow and will get feedback from a handful of people who would be my target audience to select the final images.


 Now I have created my first shoot I am satisfied with the way I handled directing and modelling my own shoot as well as having control over the edits of the images as I wanted the images to look raw, with cool tones so you can see the detail as I feel more drawn to cooler toned images and feel they create an authentic feel to the images, I am happy with my choice of photographer and will defiantly be working with Toni on more of my photoshoots.